Connections

The other day I entered a private foyer in a beautiful high rise apartment.  It was a long hallway, one door to my right was the living room in all white leather with the ocean out the large windows and to the left was a doorway with a painting on the wall.  On one wall of the hallway was a smokey gray mirror, on the other side was a whole wall of amazing pottery pieces, maybe 100 or more pieces all in cool blues and greens. I thought I had gotten off the elevator in heaven, (I make pottery).  I was so excited to see so much pottery in one place so artfully displayed.  The owner who I didn't know, came to greet me and I asked him if he was a potter.  He explained that no he wasn't a potter, his designer had put the pottery along the wall as a transition from the living room into the guest bedrooms that were on the other end of the hall, creating a cooling effect. I was only there for a few moments, but realized he didn't seem to have a connection to his personal space. It was a design that someone else created for him.  It made me think about my connection to things.

In the last few years I have let go of a lot of things, objects, that I had been moving around for a long time. I was surprised I was able to let go of some of the things I did, like 40 years of personal journals thrown into the recycle bin, and other objects sold at a garage sale, the rest given to charity.  I asked myself a lot of questions when I was choosing which things to let go. When I thought about it I realized that I had lost my connection to those objects and writings, they were there in my space, but I no longer engaged with them. There was a sense of freedom and lightness in letting go of things no longer needed, and I created more space in which to value and appreciate the things I did keep. 

Our connections to people, places and things help us to make sense of our world, they validate our being and give us comfort especially in our personal spaces.  Look around, are you making connections with your surroundings?  Are there things that are hindering your connection to what you value the most?  If the answer is yes, make some room.

Emotions: Happiness

What is Happiness?

According to the dictionary happiness is: good fortune, pleasure, contentment, joy.  An active or passive state of pleasure or pleasurable satisfaction. Bliss, supreme delight. Contentment, a peaceful happiness where one rests without desires.  And from a metaphysical perspective, happiness is a state of inner peace, a consciousness of all there is, and a realization that everyone can experience joy.

I have always considered myself to be a happy person. Sure I am miserable sometimes, I have experienced loss and sadness, and things do not always go as planned, but when I think about the basic core of my being I can say I am happy. So this week I thought about some things that make me happy and why. 

1. Being in nature because of the sounds, colors, and perfection.

2. My children and pets because they evoke my love and are delightful.

3. Being creative because self-expression is exuberant!

4.  My friends because making connections validates my humanity.

5.  Moving my body because it gives me strength and vitality.  

WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY?  Make your own list it will make you happy!

Relationships: Divine Spark

The other day I engaged the help of a young man who worked as a valet in a large high rise apartment building.  He was very friendly and happily talking to me, but also greeting and acknowledging some of the residents.  He had a joyful, kind and genuine demeanor, which he openly shared.  We chatted the whole time I was there and we ended our conversation by agreeing that looking for the best in others was a good thing to do. It was a lovely moment in time, something I call, "Every Day Magical Moments."
Even though I do not practice any kind of faith, what came to my mind as I was leaving, was the Hebrews 13:2 quote, " Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for there by some have entertained angels unaware."  Which in turn led me to think about the divine spark all living beings have, our life force and the source of our connection.  The divine spark is the divinity quality we all possess and the ability to recognize it in others from time to time.  Sometimes my days are hectic, but that encounter reminded me to be more aware of the divine in those I meet.

Human Potential

Transpersonal Psychology is the study of health and human potential.  Human potential is what is possible for us, what we can become, a latent excellence or ability that can be developed allowing us to express, or actualize at an optimal level.
One of my favorite theories on human potential was developed by  Abraham Maslow. His theory was that we have a Hierarchy of needs, and those needs have to be met before we can move up his pyramid to self-actualization.  At each level once our needs are satisfied they become less important and other drives surface.  On the most basic level our needs of food, drink, and sleep need to be met.  These are the most basic and important of our needs, followed by safety, which is being free from fear and chaos. Our need to belong and to be loved is also on that spectrum of basic needs.  We have a natural tendency to desire relationships with individuals, family and society, to create connections, and from those connections we develop our esteem needs through competence, individual achievement and respect from others.  As we reach the top of the pyramid we can still be unsatisfied unless we can experience self-actualization, which is the full use of our talents and abilities.
Self-actualization is an ongoing process of utilizing our talents and abilities what ever they are, and how ever they manifest in our lives, and because it is a process, these can change with time and circumstance.  Some characteristics of self-actualization are, seeing life clearly, being objective, not allowing our emotions or egos to influence observations, being creative, and spontaneity. 
When our needs are met we have the inclination to self-express, and self-actualize.  It is the potential we all possess and it is up to us to strive to express it.

Defining your Life

The other day I was having a conversation with a casual acquaintance about his future plans.  He is fifty years old, working and trying to make as much money as possible so he can buy an apartment or house, and retire. As he explained it, that was it, you work, you retire, and you wait until your life is over.  In the most basic sense I guess that is what happens.  I wanted to ask what is in between all those things, but I don’t know this person well and he seemed very clear about the progression of things for him in his life and not unhappy with the prospects.  He was so matter of fact, and in the big scheme of life that is how it goes, but I realized he had defined his life.  It made me think about how I define my own life.  I can honestly say my definition does not include working, retiring and dying.  Those three topics are in my life, but my life is more defined by everything that interests me and that I like to do, what I can learn, what I can create, where I like to be, where I want to go, what I want to see, who I like to be with, and just being, just enjoying the moment.  How you define your life is a good question to ask from time to time. 

Finding Spirit in Movement Part II

"There's something about the body that's absolutely essential to the development of man's  possibilities, or why are we on this earth."   
J. Needleman 

Engaging in just about any exercise can create that sense of "acute wellbeing."  Attention to physical health draws the focus inward enhancing the vital energy within.  Walking, running, dancing, as well as other aerobic exercise give the sense of being grounded and more tuned into the functioning of the body. The more integrated movements practices, such as yoga, qigong and the martial arts are exercises that provide layers of movement, physical and energetic and are based upon philosophies.  Yoga draws on energy known as prana, Qigong, draws on Qi, eternal energy or life force and the Eastern marital arts mobilize energy by uniting mind and body drawing on the energy of ch'i.  All these types of movement facilitate inner growth through discipline and practice.  Some forms of movement are strictly performance and body-strengthening modalities, while others are based upon spiritual philosophies.  Exploring the possibilities of movement and delving into the spiritual mysteries movement induces can be transforming as well as physically beneficial.

Finding Spirit in Movement

Is it possible to find spirit in movement?  Just ask any athlete and they can probably tell you of their own transcendent experiences while engaged in sport.  I had the opportunity when working on my Master’s degree to explore this subject in depth while exploring the idea of nutrition and exercise facilitating midlife transformation.  Back in 1995, Michael Murphy wrote the book, In The Zone: Transcendent Experience In Sports.  He explains, as I said in the last blog, that one aspect of exercising is a sense of “acute well-being” which is an essential element in transcendent experiences.  Murphy says, “The key is to be in the moment, realizing it is moving, not static. To be is to move with the process of the universe as it unfolds in you and you in it.”  This tells me that an aspect of good health is exercise, and engaging in exercise of any kind can be a transcendent experience, which has a profound effect on all the aspects of our lives.  That transcendent experience is when everything is flowing, and our current sense of time no longer exists, there is only now.  If you haven't experienced it when engaged in exercise, you may know what I am talking about if you have ever been so absorbed in something that there was nothing else, but what you were doing that moment.  It is a feeling we can have at the time, but a feeling that is hard to hold onto.  Once we are aware of having a transcendent experience, we naturally seek, when possible, that sense of well-being.